Conflict Resolution In The Marriage Relationship

 

Conflict Resolution In The Marriage Relationship

Ephesians 5:28 “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”

Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

     At eight-years-old, I remember playing with my friend’s Evel Knievel stunt motorcycle.

It would fit in its floor stand.  A side crank would spin up its internal flywheel.  At max speed I’d trip the release lever, the wheel would grab sending the bike racing across the floor.  The back tire had tremendous torque.  I kept fingers clear of pinch points.

     Marriage conflicts are similar.  Situations put our vehicle in the trapped stand.  An invisible hand cranks the handle.  Low sleep, previous unresolved issues, or immediate needs spin the cycle faster.  Torque increases as the inertial disk speeds up.  We could unwind on the stand or trip the trigger sending the craft dangerously careening across life’s floor.

     It is inevitable that conflicts will arise in marriage.  Differing opinions and crossing desires are healthy.  Two yoked oxen pull the family wagon.  However, eyes are not singular.

James 4:1 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions[a] are at war within you?” (ESV)

     In fights our voices aren’t heard.  We suddenly start speaking different languages.  Out of frustration or hurt, we seek to control.  Our passions surface to make the other behave and see it our way.  The inertial wheel spins.  Clamping it with a sudden stop threatens the whole frame.

1 Corinthians 13:4a “Love suffers long and is kind;” (NKJV)

     Suffering long can mean listening intently to understand the other’s viewpoint.  Conflict brings excellent opportunity.  In the heat of battle, key words may be spoken to reveal hidden issues driving disagreement.  A careful ear discerns the heart behind abrasion.  Not rising in self-defense to accusation means allowing cares to surface without retaliation.

     Husbands.  We are responsible for setting the tone of the discussion.  We can choose to fight as playground children, tit for tat.  Eventually we may mature to use tension in moderation.  Feeling the tightness of the string, we move in regards to our wife’s health.  We know what damages her soul.  Stretching to accommodate new is not bad but a cutting tongue has no place.

     The Lord Jesus will ask us.  Today or tomorrow.  He will come to visit.  Expect this.  Coming to the front door, He will ask to talk to the master of the house.  Paying a welfare visit, some explaining will He require.  If the home be in tension, the man had better have his ducks in a row.  He is her Advocate.

     Yes, it takes two to fight.  It only takes one to love.  To be more concerned of the other’s health before self-rightness, seeks for resolution.  Love in tenderness becomes the goal.  Ecclesiastes says a time for most things.  We must allow and determine the duration thereof.

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